The TRex and the Turkey Platter
I’m a chronic yes-girl.
Yes, I can do that.
Yes, I can figure that out.
Yes, I have time for that project.
Yes, I can help out.
Yes, I can take care of that for you.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
And then it piles up.
And I throw a tantrum.
And my mom says, “Say no.”
And my partner says, “Why is that something you need to do?”
And my friends say, “That’s a lot.”
And then I collapse under the list of yeses. I’m suffocating from the things in the moment I was happy to take off someone else’s plate and pile onto mine.
When I wondered why this kept happening, a mentor told me something she uses to guide her when she has a lot of opportunities, but not the capacity for them all.
She told me about plates and platters. Some people have the capacity to hold a dessert plate. Others can handle a dinner plate.
And some hold turkey platters.
This chronic yes-girl thought she could hold a turkey platter. Fill it with all of the things she said yes to…from family obligations, to helping friends navigate sticky situations, to taking on every single person who wanted to hire her for anything somewhat related to her business description.
I wanted to hold the turkey platter. I wanted to yes my way through every opportunity because what if no one else helps or what if this is the thing that will get me to the next level or in the room with the person and the chance to take on more things that could lead to more levels and more yeses and more things on my turkey platter that definitely has more room for more things that might matter or lead to something that does matter….
But it turns out, when your turkey platter is filled with shit that doesn’t actually light you up or create a situation where you feel seen and appreciated, you end up feeling like a TRex.
A giant, powerful TRex that everyone assumes is super strong and has it all together…that dominates as the predator, the alpha…whatever.
Try handing a TRex a turkey platter.
You can’t.
Their disproportionately little arms can’t hold a turkey platter!
Imagine a big, goofy TRex trying to hold a turkey platter with his tiny arms and claws that would not provide any sort of stability.
Thanksgiving nightmare. You’d be better off asking the 3-year-old to bring in the gravy boat.
I’ve been the TRex holding the turkey platter multiple times. And I probably will be again, let’s be honest. We don’t always quit our bad habits cold turkey (sorry, had to) when we recognize them.
But maybe next time I see the turkey platter filling too fast, I’ll say something. Will it be, “No, I don’t think I can help,” or “I don’t have the ability to take on that project right now” ?
Probably not.
It’ll probably start with a compromise, or asking for support earlier, or maybe I will be able to say no.
Maybe, I’ll pick up a dinner plate instead.